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What Has Happened to PCD?
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New 12-02-06 What has happened to PCdistance? I remember… Once there was a time when columnists actually did something for PCdistance and photos were regularly updated. That time has ended. Where are the hilarious new columns? Where are the new photos? PCdistance has become abandoned and lost. Columns have been neglected for months, and photos are rarely updated. Something needs to be done to revive PCdistance to its former glory. Where are the pictures from the last half of the season? Where are the columns that I could always count on being new when there was nowhere else to go on the Internet? I have become disappointed in the lack of updates. If this site is to live on, something must be done to fix it. Robert's Response: Every one of your foolish and ridiculous questions can be answered completely. First off, do you think that photos from meets just magically appear on my computer? No, people need to give them to me in order for me to upload them onto the site; there are more than 730 (yes, 730) pictures from this Cross Country season alone and you’re complaining about the lack of new photos? Please, I don't see you taking any pictures at sections. Kenny's Response: In response to cranky pants William’s new column. He has only himself and his fellow students to blame. The senior class of 2006 is not a part of the team anymore. We can not be expected to continually add content to pcdistance in order to fulfill his whimsy. We are in college, we don’t have the time to type papers for fun. I also detest his calling pcdistance “lost and abandoned”, it isn’t. It gets around 25 unique viewers a day (that’s a guess). The updates and page views always decline in the off season. If William wants so badly to update the website he should do it himself. William's Comment: This column has sparked just the controversy necessary to help make PCdistance a better site. I was not blaming the founders of the site at all for the dilemma at hand. This was a plea for new people to step up and submit photos and other ideas to this site. Hopefully someone out there is listening and will step forward with new material for the site. Jugs's Comment: Well I am only doing this to humor William. Just to let you know I was one of those people who donated those pics. I am not sure how many but dont bring me into the whole mess of not donating things. I just posted a few new things in the knew guestbook and I am doing this now. I would have to agree with Robert and Kenny. Now I must compliment Robert on the knew banner, it looks pretty sweet! Now I do not know what this secret project is, wheter was the guestbook or not I will have to find out. Keep up the good work on the website Robert and Kenny.
New 11-9-06 A note from Kenny before you read this: Myself, Kevin, and Mark will
not stand to have our names slandered by the Park Center's version of
Rush Limbaugh. Our responses are posted below William's hate spam. Be
sure to read them. Why do Park Center Runners Hate Skiing? In order to understand the rift that has been built between Park Center Cross Country and Skiing teams, we must delve deep into the depths of time, a whole seven years ago, when group of seventh graders: Kevin Kallas, Mark Vonderharr, Alex Risse, Bobby Slagerman and Kenny Gilkerson found themselves recruited into the Cross Country, and than the ski team respectively. Before this the two teams were almost one in the same. Cross Country Runners did skiing and skiers did running. Immediately it was made clear who would excel in each of their sports. (Minus Mark who in the beginning was pretty terrible at both and Kenny who is just good at everything) But somehow they got it in their heads that if they were even slightly better at one or the other that they couldn’t possibly be good at both, much less try hard in the sport they were slightly worse at. Slowly this revulsion for mostly skiing built to biblical proportions. This trifecta of hate toward skiing between Mark, Kenny, and Kevin fueled into an intense explosion whose ripples can still be felt today. Several people interviewed claimed they had received death threats from two masked stranger simply for signing up for the ski meeting. One of the threatened later recounted that one stuttered occasionally and both were wearing ski masks. Through such poems as stu-stu-stu stuttering Kevin and picture evidence of Mark wearing ski masks I believe it is obvious who the culprits were. Through their terrible work ethic in skiing they set an example for future Cross Country skiers to come. One such example of this being passed on to future generations occurred just last year. I decided to do my workout with Nate Wallace and Robert Nelson who coincidentally were friends of the trifecta. Although I was also a friend, I avoided their sly comments that slowly poisoned those around me. That day at practice they told me at least ten times to slow down because apparently no matter how slow “William Pace” was, it was to fast for them. Did this attitude originate on its own? I think not. Although the trifecta were on many occasions hilarious, (Ski Jumps, and on one occasion an actual ski explosion) did they have to drag the whole team down with them? I never recall an occasion when skiers tried to persuade runners to stop against their will. Luckily in this past year the end of this dilemma is in sight. Three of the captains of the running team are also captains of the ski team, and Nate Wallace told me just yesterday that he was going to actually work hard in skiing. It has been at least 4 years since I heard a runner say “Work Hard” and “Skiing” in the same sentence. Could this trend finally be coming to an end? Quite possibly yes. Kevin's Response: William I would like to applauded you on the handbook of handball. However, let me remind you who brought that game to Park Center and who made almost all of those rules. The people who brought that game to Park Center are the very same who you slander in the last column. Kenny Gilkerson A.K.A. the only reason why the ski team didn’t suck that hard last year. Mark Vonderharr A.K.A a funny guy and me Kevin Kallas A.K.A worried about your mental health. So lets begin the journey of making William look like a clown not a happy clown but a sad confused clown. Lets get something straight before we start this. William started the personal attacks by talking about my stu stu stuttering. I’m sorry William but I was born with that and I can’t fix it so there, and do you know who else made fun of people with stutters, Hitler that’s right Hitler. But on a more serious note William went hunting again and yet again he has yet to kill anything.*coughs member of PETA*. Can we really trust some one who thinks that chickens have the same rights as humans I think not. Next we have the topic of the trio of Kevin, Mark and Kenny as not begin hard workers during skiing. I can tell you something right now Kevin and Mark were not hard workers and we never hide that as a fact. But during track or cross season I would challenge anyone that said there work harder then me, that includes the summer to. Why do I stress this so much you ask??? Because even though William works mildly hard during the ski season, he doesn’t do jack for xc or track. Example I went on to raceberryjam.com to find results on some races this year to see how much William had improved during the season, which is a good way to see how much he worked during the season. The only problem was that I couldn’t find his name anywhere, then I realized silly me I was only looking at the varsity results, I just assumed that he would have stepped up like Robert did and be running Varsity but it looks like someone didn’t work very hard. But lets just look at some times shall we? 4. Park Center 10 Jeff Merritt, 11 19:06.6 17 Bronson Coles, 10 19:41.2 20 Nick Schroeder, 8 19:44.4 31 Sam Bernards, 7 20:30.5 36 David Rode, 12 20:34.8 37 Josh Demorett, 11 20:36.3 42 William Risse, 11 20:46.0 These are the conference results from this year compared to the result of Milaca Mega meet of the year 2004 that is two years early. 16. Park Center 50 Mark Vonderharr 20:20.8 53 Nick Canfield 20:22.6 77 Sean Wold 20:48.4 91 Matt McLaughlin 21:09.6 115 William Risse 21:32.8 143 Nick Knutson 22:11.1 148 Robert Nelson 22:22.8 As you can see, the “hard working” William really didn’t what I call improve. For those of you that can’t do the math, probably William that is an improvement of a whopping 48 seconds yes people 48 seconds. That includes going though puberty people, and just 48 seconds. I even noticed his laziness during this summer went I went to run with Alex we would invite him to come along but he said I do it latter. At least I was up front about not working hard not a sly backstabber who talks like he works hard all year round. Now lets compare Robert’s times with Williams. Same age but different work ethics, so lets see what the difference is. At conference this year Robert ran an 18:08 compared to his race two years ago he ran 22:22.8. that is a difference of a little over 4 MINUTES, compared to Williams 48 seconds, so how was your work ethic William? So lets continue and talk about skiing. First of all Kenny does hate skiing but he never slacked during work outs me and mark would want him to screw around with us but he never did, so get your facts straight before you drag good people’s names though the mud. So back to what me and mark did yes we didn’t do much and would go play on the playground, make snow forts, go on adventure skis though the woods and occasionally just lay in the yurt all day. But you know who would come with us William Risse, not all the time, but some. At least once a week William would came lay down with us on the playground and pass the day away, good times, but how dear William try to say he never played around. When ever we did glide test he did them with us, which wasted valuable skiing time, but he never complained, he glided with the rest of us and wasted time.
Just a quick side note bobby slaggerman screwed off just as much as kevin and mark. Okay Kevin and Nate are always down to ride but using Nate as an example for good judgment is never a good idea. For one prime example… the sex cruise. Well that about it lets recap, William said he worked hard, but he really didn’t, Kevin and Mark were up front about there laziness, Kenny wasn’t lazy. I would like to here what other people think about this subject. Please write a response. Kapn Kool Kenny's Response: Need I mention the hypocrisy? Where were you at track and field William? Just because you were a little worse at the short distances doesn’t mean that you had to give up on track all together. I’m sure William would bring up the old tired argument that he doesn’t like running in circles. Newsflash! We were skiing in overcrowded circles at Elm creek for ¾ of a season; William didn’t seem to have a problem with that. The ski team was living a lie, a lie that William wants to continue to perpetrate even to this day. The great lie of the ski team goes something like this, “as long as we tell ourselves that skiing isn’t cold and miserable, it won’t be. Oh and if we ski 30km a day aimlessly, we will be the conference champions.” All Kev, Mark, and myself did was to expose that lie. Just one more paragraph on William’s hypocrisy. I vividly remember William gladly showing up at Kevin’s house during the 2 hour marathon runs during dry land for a couple of years. William didn’t seem to have a conflict of interest when he playing pool and watching movies instead of training for skiing. Don’t accuse us of trying to take the team down. The crappy winters and the veil of lies that the team was living under did that itself. I didn’t run for captain because I knew that if I did I would end up taking the team down, because I genuinely didn’t like skiing starting ½ way through my junior year (that doesn’t mean I stopped trying, I’ll get to that later). I wanted the team to do well, I just didn’t enjoy skiing. I stayed on the team to make the team not suck. I could have left and really killed the team’s moral, but I cared enough about the ski team to give up going to indoor track practice at the NSC for the winter. I can see now that my efforts were not appreciated as much as I had hoped. The team’s moral suffered when Kev and Mark quit (read “not as much laughing”), but that was probably for the better. We all did what we needed to Can you imagine the team’s moral if I had quit also, I’ll tell you one thing, the trifecta of quitting would have caused the team’s morale to be measured in scientific notation, with negative exponents on the 10. I don’t have to defend myself, but I will, because it’s easy. I am so sick of the idea perpetrated by William that I slacked in skiing. Even I said that I slacked, but I thought everyone knew I was kidding. Sure, I didn’t wax my skis as much as I should have, and didn’t roller ski during the summer (because I was running), but I always did the correct workout just as much as William when we were on snow at elm creek day in and day out. William went his on the Playground more than I did. The idea that I wasn’t living up to my potential in skiing is false. Look at the really good skiers of the past, Tabin, Kevin Walzack, Travis Hinck, and Jack Sullivan, they were of a totally different body type than I am. I do not have the skier’s build. I have a distance runner’s build. I have no arms. This is evidenced in my crappiness at classic. William is notorious for saying that the reason that I (and we as a team) suck as classic is because I never do it and don’t care about it. The actual reason is that even William has more arms than I do. I had to run up the hills in classic races, because my arms were useless. I had 6 years to figure this out. Also, how about the skate races that were held when it was 40 degrees out side and we were basically water skiing. I was a finesse skier, not a strength skier. When we were on slush, I had to rely on my arms to get around and that equals a bad race for Kenny. I said I slacked in skiing, but what I really meant was that I wasn’t cut out for skiing. Notice that how well I did at the conference sprint championships, that’s because sprints rely heavily on legs (and there was decent hill half way through on the course). Don’t tell me that I could have been a great skier, because I tried for 6 years and it didn’t happen. I can look back on those six years and honestly, I have no regrets. The bottom line is what does the team remember? Do they remember the Graystone from 2 years ago, do they remember skiing 100km for the team trip, do they remember us getting second in the coaches relay, do they remember giants ridge 2 years ago when it was 5 degrees outside? The answer is no, what they do remember was when Kevin, Mark, and Myself played poker, built jumps, tried to escape Pete on the bronze trail at Giant’s Ridge (there’s a hilarious story behind that), went sledding at chicy when we should have been waxing, gave Jugs his nickname, had a full working oven in our room at pre-birkie, heated up spaghettios in the Trollhaugen hot tub, spent two hours at the warming hut with the camp fire in the middle of the Giant’s Ridge trails (William was there too), ate a full lunch on the side of the trail during the prebirkie (might be before your time), and most importantly, made everyone laugh on the endless bus rides back and forth from elm creek. Because if the ski team is boring, you are going to lose more people than if the three of us tell people the truth in that that we don’t like skiing. Does the team have any of those memories from my senior year when Kev and Mark quit? The answer is only one time, when Kev and Mark showed up at prebirkie. The evidence is here. And here. Coincidence, I think not. In the end, you have to ask yourself, would you have rather not had us on the team? The answer is no. Did we make the team worse? No, no one quit that had any real potential to win races. We definitely made it different, but not worse. Kenny G. Jugz' Response: If I were to chose between these two columns of Kenny and William I would have to agree with Kenny. William you got shut down!!!!!!!! Not only does Kenny prove his point, but quit well at that. You should have put a little more thought into this column, especially when knowing full well that you were going to get a response from three or more people. I know for a fact, and have witnesses, that you put little to no thought into this. At lunch you said yourself that you didn't know what you were going to right, that you were going to make it up as you go. Kenny proves his point in a well thought out form with loads of research as we can see by the proof and the links at the end. Now don't get me wrong I claim in no manner at all that i don't slack at running or skiing. Trust me I do. Now I have only been on the cross country team for one year and it was the year after Kenny graduated but I know what he's talking about when he says William goes over to someone's house to avoid practice. Just this year there was a big controversy about it. I wont go into details but it just further proves Kenny's point. William may say that Kenny slacked off but William himself was involved in most if not all of the slacking off things that Kenny and Kev and Mark and so on did, for instance the "ski explosion" instance. I know because I was there. Everyone slacks, its a fact of life. But not everyone does it all the time. If Kenny Mark Kev and them all slacked then why did they do so good. You are talking about the same year that your brother was. Are you calling your brother a slacker too? I know you didn't really mention his name in the column but I think that's out of fear. Now I think this year is going to be different for skiing. This is the only thing I agree with William on. I think this is the year the slacking slump is going to end. Well its getting late. I hope for my first column ever I have done pretty good. Even though I did kind of go against my own year. Meh what are ya gonna do. -Jugz Mark's response: After reading William’s Column, It has made me not want to join skiing even more. It sounds like Kev, Kenny, Mark made skiing fun. All I heard when Kenny got back from Prebrike was about the pool, doing jumps, and throwing stuff at Josh. Not the race. It sounded funny and I wish I had had been there. Now it sounds boring and not fun. I wouldn’t enjoy skiing, and if Kevin, Kenny, and Mark were on the team it would probably make the season go faster. They made cross country fun too. Yes, in the summer I told Sarah L., as she gave ride home one day, that I would join Skiing. But now Doug is organizing this Footlocker Race in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Also after this reading the column, I WILL NOT JOIN SKIING AS LONG AS I LIVE. Sorry, Sarah L, Cross Rules. Mark G William's Rebuttal: I would like to respond to the outrageous comments made by both Kenny and Kevin. I would just like to congratulate myself on being awarded captain in CC. YES, you heard me, Cross Country Running. Clearly this honor did not come from sitting around on my ass during the CC season. I would not run for captain if I thought that my actions would in any way bring down the team, and the team clearly thought that I had the qualifications for the job. Robert Nelson, the one you say improved so much, voted for me. Yes, I admit that I haven’t improved as much as normal, but I think that the hard worker award at the end of the year banquet should speak for itself. And by the way, I am joining track again this season.I would also like to point out who made the poem stu-stu-stuttering Kevin; Kevin’s close friend Mark. I wasn’t insulting anyone, simply using it as evidence. I was outraged at some of the comments that Jugz wrote, which were completely false. Jugz, how else am I supposed to write a paper? In every paper I’ve ever written I don’t know what I’m going to write until I put a little research into it. And by the way how can we trust someone who cant even spell write right? I also never said that Kevin and Mark didn’t work hard at running. In fact, in running they were some of the hardest workers on the team. I just don’t see why it was necessary not to carry that same motivation into skiing. I would also like to point out that I have killed many animals in my lifetime, although this has nothing to do with my original argument. Couldn’t you at least use actual evidence that has to do with skiing to try and insult me? I have several Eyewitnesses who saw me take down several squirrels just on our last hunting trip. Another sad but true fact, times don’t always show how hard you work. My own brother Alex Risse can vouch for this. I believe he ran four hundred miles the summer before his senior year, and did it help him improve? No, in fact he got worse. All
the instances that you have claimed that I was slacking minus one
are also false. I do admit to one occasion of going to Kevin’s
house to take a brake from practice, but I regret that decision to
this day. On the other occasions, such as when I was sitting at the
fire, I had already done one hundred Kilometers over the trip. To
my recollection this was only my second year in skiing, and that
number far exceeds that of any of the others in my class for that
year. I also have plenty of memories of the year Kevin and Mark quit
the team. The occasion at Chicigami when everyone was singing the
animal house song from the Simpsons, Robert hitting a tree at the
Elk River Junior High race, and the bus rides were still always
extremely entertaining. We were also planning on making jumps at
Pre-Birkie before either Kevin or Mark had arrived. I believe I
myself was the one to discover the jump and bring them along. (This
was after sections so taking a break would be ok) And by the way,
why couldn’t we simply finish the workout and then screw around.
Most of the workouts in skiing take less time than the amount we are
actually at the park.
I would also like to
point out the similarities between this professional skier and
Kenny. Do you notice the extremely thin arms? Skiing is a sport
for mainly the legs, and poles are so light now anyone can easily
push themselves along. My original article was not to call anyone out or insult anyone. It was simply research into why the two teams had split apart, which they undeniably have. Mark
G: As you have never done skiing you would have no say in this. It
is clear that you are simply a puppet who has been abused to long by
you older brothers friends. You have to start making your own
decisions sometime. Kevin and Kenny Mark Vonderharr's Response: First of all let me start this off with saying although Kenny and Nate's Response: I have been a close follower to the Anti-Skiing/William is Hitler column series and since my name was used I decided to contribute. It is true that I said that I was gonna try hard in skiing this year. Let me define try hard. Every day we go out to Elm Creek for about two hours. In this time we are expected to make the most of it and ski the whole time or as old Peterson calls it “continuous movement.” Two hours is too long. My plan is to put a good hour of skiing under my belt then off to the woods/yert/new chalet. So I will be “trying hard” by skiing for 1 of the 2 hours of practice and maybe some of those days will be spent at William pace. I personally do not hate skiing but do I dislike it, yes. Kenny's Comment:
New 10-12-06 Over the past year of playing handball I have grown tired of the blatant abuse of the classic rules of handball. If the founders of this noble sport were here to witness the defiling of it and the blatant abuse of the rules, they would be appalled at what they saw. Therefore I have decided to compile an official “handbook” of handball.
1. “B**ch moves” (As called by certain people) are allowed. 2. Handball is not a “gentleman’s sport”, but rather a sport you play to win at nearly all costs. 3. Handball is not a sport for the weak. You will get pushed around. If you can’t handle it, then leave. 4. Majority rules.
Now that we have the important rules in place, lets’ get into the technicalities.
5. Line shots are illegal on serve. The ball must hit above the line on a serve. 6. On a serve the person must stand within a reasonable distance of the middle of the court. 7. If a ball hits an obstruction such as a light or clock on serve that serve is considered a fault. 8. The ball must hit the front wall before touching the floor. (Except on serve) 9. Depending on site of game, sidelines (or none) will be decided upon. In some locations sidewalls are allowed to be used. 10. If ball hits the ceiling and than the wall on a serve it will be ruled fault unless one of the opposing player calls “reasonable”, in which case they can hit it. 11. The person closest to the ball is obligated to hit it. 12. If it is ruled that the person closest to the ball had no chance hitting that ball the next closest person must attempt to hit that ball. 13. If you are caught running from the ball on any play in which that ball would have been yours to hit, you are out. 14. Whoever is closest to the ball when it bounces its second time is out, unless for reasons listed above. 15. If a play is undecided, players must argue their point within reasonable time. If no verdict is decided by the majority, than a match of rock, paper, scissors will commence. Hence, justice will be served. 16. If a ball bounces off a player and hits the wall that ball is still considered in play. 17. If a person completely misses the ball on a swing or attempts to swing but pulls back, that person is out. Not the person standing behind them. 18. Don’t complain about a ruling. If you’re called out, get out. Don’t be stupid about it. 19. Other rules may apply to different playing venues.
If any of these rules are dubbed unfit in the future, a simple majority vote is all that is needed to amend these rules, or add a new one.
Rules written by William Risse (updated as of 10-11-06).
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